Bradley University Chemistry Club
Announcements
THERE IS A MEETING TONIGHT (4/7/08)
IN THE HASBROUCK ROOM
This was in an email that was forwarded to me. I thought everyone would appreciate it.
For more Chem Fun check out the link on the left.
A New Addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with
money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just
as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as
many morons.
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