[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(10/25/2000)

Call To Order: 10:08 pm

There were 15 attendees.

Notes:

Due to the extremely short attention span of most members, there has been no old business for quite a while.
The Nagus has won yet another bet with the Captain.
Once again, people are making and launching paper airplanes out of the mail. There is an assassination attempt on the Nagus, which is unsuccessful.
Due to the conspicuous absence of the First Officer, Adam has again assumed the position of Acting First Officer, and Carl has again assumed the position of Acting Adam.

Recruitment and Relations Committee:

Movie Committee:

T-Shirt Committee:

Robert Ray at Psi Phi West in Arizona has asked if the t-shirts would be available in colors other than purple. Apparently, they are. Colors such as green and dark red were suggested.
The motion to change the t-shirt color from purple to dark red was nearly unanimously approved. There will be a final sign-up next week for ordering t-shirts.
A request for scissors was made by Adam. Carl demonstrated that he does not know the difference between scissors and a stapler.
Once again, by the Captain's request, the declaration that Adam is wrong is hereby inserted into the minutes.
The Comm Officer is presented with a pair of scissors to give to Adam, then promptly refuses, pointing out that no sane person would do so.
There are multiple mentions of [items deleted for security and moral purposes].

No Report Committee:

Carl, as Acting Adam, gives the report.
No report, given in the voice of Chemistry!, accompanied by Carl running in small circles.
There is much approval of this report, and Carl is offically and permanently conferred with the title of Adam.
Adam officially confers upon himself the title of the Lizard King.
Ryan proceeds to embarrass the club yet again by yelling various disturbing witticisms out of the room for passersby to hear and shudder at upon hearing.

Communications Officer:

While waiting for the Comm Officer to say something relevant, Adam (Carl) shot him.
Oh, my God! Carl killed Kenny! You [item deleted for obvious reasons]!
Speaking of which, Chris recently played a South Park pinball game...and promptly busted it.
No report.

Grand Nagus:

Chief of Operations:

First Officer:

The Acting First Officer takes the podium (yes, there actually was a podium in our meeting room tonight) and declares, "We must add blood to this bloodless coup." The other officers promptly shoot down his argument.

Captain:

We have mail. That's it.
Mail:
- A flyer for purchasing Bradley Basketball season tickets
- Speculation is made regarding possible ties between "The Red Zone" in the Carver Arena and the Communist Party.
- The notation is made that at least 8 members of Psi Phi are currently involved with the band program; there is talk of a coup to make the club even nerdier than it already is, if such a thing is possible.
Talk shuffles over to the previously mentioned idea of attacking the French club.
Yet another emergent faction of the club demands that the blood of Pikachu be spilled immediately.
Sorrow is expressed by many over the content of tonight's meeting, and even more so over the fact that we'll have to listen to it all over again in next week's reading of the minutes.
In a feat of literary ingenuity and brilliance, the Comm Officer plots to have the minutes end with the Captain waking up and realizing the entire meeting was a dream, something that no writer in history has ever before attempted. He defies anyone to prove otherwise.

Well, believe it or not, we actually have old business this week.
Ryan sent an e-mail to the Alcohol Awareness organizers about requesting a footprint to put up on the wall to those who have died of alcoholism.
"You see, Morn was a good friend of ours..."
There has been no response as of yet, possibly because someone over there watches DS9 and knows what we're up to.
Ignorance as our weapon has failed again.

There was an Iron Chef reference on this past week's episode of Buffy! Huzzah!
Essentially, Dawn screwed up while making breakfast, and a comment was made that ran approximately thus: "Well, who died and made you the Iron Chef?"
It is possible somebody cooked a vampire on that show.
A new hardcover out is New Frontier: Excalibur: Restoration, by Peter David. Check it out!
The observation is made that Joel, our twice-abdicated Captain, has been filling in for his replacement tonight, who is conspicuously absent. The breakdown of command breaks down, and mass confusion ensues.
The Lizard King (Adam) mentions that he found a Gargoyles fan website, and learned that they will soon be having a convention. He found this mind-boggling.
Ray questions the Lizard King's dissing of Gargoyles.
Martial law is declared.
General disorder ensues.
Mass chaos ensues.
The fabric of reality is threatened.
And to make matters worse, tech support is taking forever...

After the meeting adjourned, Eric, Katie, and Matt the Fifth point out the grevious error in a science fiction club voting to get "red shirts" for the club.
Shirt colors will be finalized next meeting.
Ray remarks, "Adam (Adam) is dead! Long live Adam (Carl)!" This provides the scientific community with even more convincing evidence that Ray is both brilliant with incongruities and outright insane.
Another reminder is made that we will all suffer mightily through these minutes next week.
Censorship is not only good, but vital in an organization such as ours, where the main political factions are Crazy, Bonkers, and Nuts.
There will be another installment of Twenty Questions with David regarding a new Star Trek promotion after the meeting.
Finally, a note that next Tuesday is Halloween, which is sort of sci-fi related. Boo!

[Transmission Complete]
[Channel Closed]