[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(11/01/2000)

Call To Order: 10:05pm

Attendance:

• Joel Oberdieck (Captain)
• Julie Faas (First Officer)
• David Henderson (Chief of Operations)
• Meg Callender (Grand Nagus)
• Kenny Albright (Communications Officer)
• Marisa Bonomo
• Chris Johnson
• Chris Kaergard
• Katie Kilby
• Ray Kremer
• Carl Murphy
• Aaron Nevitt
• C. Adam Scott
• Ryan Woodrow
• Eric Zaleski

Minutes: Summarized and approved.

• A presidential decree is issued that the minutes will not be read this week.
• However, since there is still some doubt as to the chain of command after last week's fiasco, the Captain's decree is voided, and the minutes are read.
• Random noise emanates from Adam (Carl).
• The suggestion is made that we use the chess club as scapegoats for the remainder of the year.
• Contrary to last week's predictions, few are actually suffering through the minutes tonight. The Captain is sleeping through them. The suggestion is made that the minutes be lengthened, and the Comm Officer is amenable to this suggestion.

Committee Reports:

• No report.

• No idea, since Charlie isn't here. We go to the Lizard King, who also has no idea.

• In response to last week's questions, different colors are not a problem, and we can accommodate XXXL sizes.
• There are four colors available for t-shirts: blood-red, dark green, purple, and black. These are associated with human, Vulcan, Klingon, and Shadow blood, respectively. Also associated with these are [items deleted for grossout reasons].
• We will be ordering shirts tonight.

• Adam (Carl) stands on his head, with the help of the First Officer, to give the report.
• No report, received with applause.
• The Captain declares that the Lizard King is wrong. However, the Lizard King was right on two occasions during tonight's Voyager episodes, so the net total for the Lizard King is being right once tonight, which is a new record.

Officers' Reports:

• In order to help lengthen the minutes, the Comm Officer recommends that the Captain make more decrees.

• The current balance is $142.09.
• Discussion is made about the purpose and function of "Hall-Zoo-Ween," or some such recent promotion.

• No report.

• Carl cross-dressed last night, for reasons known only to him and the First Officer.

• Only one piece of mail this week.
• Mail:
  • A pizza party at Gorman's Pub coming soon
• Confusion is created when the Chief asks whether utter annoyance or an uttered annoyance was prompted by tonight's mail.

Old Business:

• A committee of arbitration was formed to resolve the question of which officer has authority of command for the club. The members of the arbitration committee were Carl, Katie, and Kenny.
• The arbitration committee is ruled both arbitrary and mandatory.
• (NOTE: Since the Comm Officer was selected for the arbitration committee, the following minutes were taken by the Chief.)
• The arbitration committee meets out in the hall to decide the fate of billions.
• A request for singing by the Chief is rejected, while a request for singing by the Lizard King is heartily accepted.
• The song lyrics run as follows: [item deleted for morality reasons].
• The arbitration committee returns. (End of the Chief's minutes)
• All is as it was before. Namely, Joel is the Captain, and Julie is First Officer. The Carl/Adam/Lizard King situation is left unresolved.
• The Comm Officer becomes temporarily insane while trying to figure out how to notate tonight's bizarre events in the minutes.

Scifi News:

• TV Guide is coming out with 3 X-Files covers: the New Guy (Doggett), the Old Guy (Mulder), and the Old Lady (Scully).
• The Lizard King is confused. David Hasselhoff is randomly mentioned.
• The season premieres of the X-Files, Futurama, and the Simpsons will be Sunday, November 5th on FOX.
• Voyager's sixth season is rerunning weeknights at 9 on UPN.
• Babylon 5 is in its second season reruns on the Sci Fi Channel. Upcoming important episodes include The Coming of Shadows and In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum.
• Also upcoming on the Sci Fi Channel are the Babylon 5 movies:
  • In The Beginning, in widescreen version
  • Friday, December 1st - Thirdspace, probably in widescreen, from 8-11
  • Friday, December 8th - River of Souls, probably in widescreen
  • Sunday, December 17th - The Gathering and A Call to Arms, probably in letterbox version, from 6-10
• Adam (Carl) begins a war waged randomly with everybody else.
• The November 14th episode of Buffy will feature a Buffy/Angel thematic crossover, involving flashbacks in Europe.
• Adam (Carl) burps.
• Chris brought several sci-fi related magazine clippings, including a short list of Yoda-English translations, and descriptions of recent actual scientific research into mind control, time travel, and phasers.
• The Lizard King suggests that he resembles Jesus; other members are dubious of this claim.
• The Lizard King enlightens everyone about the myriad uses of the term "foody goodness."
• Since Carl was nominated permanent Adam, David announces that he will act as part-time Carl, complete with "Chemistry!"
• However, David will still remain himself, since nobody else can handle his job.
• The observation is made that when members try to throw things at each other, we all have poor aim.

Adjournment: 10:43(now)(existential physics)pm