[Channel Open]
[Incoming Transmission from Psi Phi, Office of Communications]

Minutes

(04/04/2001)

Call To Order: 10:09 (checkmate)(dabo girls)(super seizure robots)pm

There were 16 attendees.

Notes:

The Nagus and the Captain fight over mail.
Amy and Joelish arrive at 10:10, and the people rejoice. Yay.
David remarks, "Let's hear it for mathematical progression!" Adam tries a similar cheer for English majors, which is less successful.
Specific disorder ensues regarding goofy letters.
The Captain baps himself. David coins a term for this process - "self-bappilation."
Ray tries to stop the endless stream of things happening (and thus being recorded in the minutes) by saying, "Stop doing things!" Of course, this backfires, as his statement must now also be entered into the minutes.
Adam wants Ray put in the minutes for his previous remarks. His wish is granted.
The Captain requests that the adjournment from the March 14, 2001 meeting be entered perpetually into this and all future minutes.
"Adjournment: 10:52 (emsmalled)(australopithecus)(bloody Taco Bell dog splattered against the wall)pm"
[Item deleted from minutes for security reasons.]

Recruitment and Relations Committee:

No Report Committee:

Adam's purported last philosophically related report deals with Nietzscheism, and is paraphrased here:
"This view holds that one attains godhood when the ends justify the means. I don't know the ends. I have no report."

Communications Officer:

Drive not ready. Abort, Retry, Fail?
Carl arrives at 10:30. Red Dwarf tapes are exchanged.
A recent $300 question on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" asked whether sororities are restricted to vegetarians, Trekkies, women, or sheep.
Anyone wishing to view the Last Page of the Internet can go to www.shibumi.org/EotI, et al.
Credited as Little Girl #1 in Voyager's "Inside Man" on Saturday was a "Brooke Averi." Sound familiar?
John Ritter again graced "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" with more "Ritter: Secrets", including the original plot for "Three's Company", and a short-lived experience as Andy Griffith's shoe-shine boy.

Constable:

Earlier today we repelled some invaders. After taunting them into submission, they tried to sneak in using a wooden rabbit, but we sent it back to them.
Everything's under control.
Carl wants to know what kind of accent the Constable was using during his report. Aaron replies, "Foreign."

Grand Nagus:

Chief of Operations:

The trivia contest winners are up on the website. Hooray and congratulations to them! No one got a perfect score, but several people were close.
There will be a weblink to Psi Phi in the upcoming issue of Star Trek Communicator magazine! Woohoo!
Kevin Dilmore, author of one book in the Starfleet Corps of Engineers e-book series, has referenced us in an article.

First Officer:

Amy gives tonight's initial report by proxy, due to the conspicuous lateness of the First Officer.
Amy has absolutely no idea where Julie is; she's probably studying, but no one can definitely conclude that is the case. (The First Officer later dismantles this explanation.)
Tonight's Douglas Adams Quote of the Week is from "Life, the Universe, and Everything":
"'What was that?' hissed Arthur. 'Something red,' hissed Ford back at him. 'Where are we?' 'Er, somewhere green.' 'Shapes,' muttered Arthur. 'I need shapes.'"

Captain:

Since the legitimacy of "Joel" is still in dispute, the Captain forces Joelish to deliver tonight's report.
The Nagus tortures Joelish; this is not unusual, as she tortures the Captain regularly anyway.
Ray sings the Letters song. Joelish states, "I think that means we have letters."
Mail:
- Organ donor propaganda
- A schedule for the Peoria Chiefs
- Ray demands that Adam become an organ donor. Adam insists that he is one already. Ray says, "No, I mean right now."
Julie arrives at 10:39. General disorder ensues, as several assassination attempts take place simultaneously.
Amy lost her thong (sandal) out in the hallway during the chaos. Oh, and the Mets lost.
We now have 10000, or 1b^4, people here.
The Captain ululates and restores order.

Adam is, by self-admission, still full of it.
Conflicting reports claim that Adam "still" looks like Jesus. Others are waiting for a first time.

The motion is raised to chalk the slogan "VOTE FOR THE SHOE" all over campus, in anticipation of upcoming student government elections.
Charlie remarks it would be funny if Adam took off his shoe and, imitating Khrushchev, said, "We will bury the West!"
The motion is made by Carl that Carl be stricken from this and all future minutes. The motion apparently fails again by an indeterminate margin.
Owing to the previous motion, the Captain once again decries democracy.
Pursuant to the first motion, which apparently passes by an indeterminate margin, a Campaign for the Shoe Committee is created.
Amy will chair the committee, and members include Adam, Adam's right shoe, Chris J., and Joelish.
The Constable muses if the "other shoe will drop."

This weekend, the Sci Fi Channel will hold a ST:TOS marathon, consisting of 9 episodes from the first series, as well as the fourth and sixth movies.
The 100th episode of Buffy will be 2 hours on May 22nd. There will be no Angel that week, but the Angel season finale will be a week before, on the 15th.
The upcoming Pern TV series may already be on hiatus, as executive producer Ron Moore has left over "creative differences." Sources suggest he didn't want to go along with the network's attempt to "dumb down" the series.
Ron Moore worked for Voyager in the sixth season, then left for similar reasons.
The Captain states that this is a sign that the quality of the new series will definitely decline.
Up over this past weekend, as the latest addition to the new DS9 section of the website, was...Morn: "Bring on the dabo girls!" (April Fool!)
The club demands, "Morn! Morn! Morn!"
Ray tells of the Season 1 finale of Exposure, to be aired this Friday at 1 on the Sci Fi Channel.
The show will be a "Best of..." one, showing the top five shorts as selected by online voting.
Best of all, it will be hosted by Terry Farrell, who reportedly makes quite an impression.
[Item deleted for security reasons.]
The Captain declares, "We're done."

[Transmission Complete]
[Channel Closed]