“If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.”

                -Turkish Proverb

The International Listening Association (1996) defines listening as the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages.  It is an essential part of oral communication and therefore, relationships both personal and professional can not exist without it.  The ability to listen is not inborn however; it is a learned skill and is improved with practice.  Because listening plays such a major role in oral communication, we have dedicated an entire section to explain its components. 

Five Activities of Listening

“Instead of listening to what is being said to them, many managers are already listening to what they are going to say.”

     -Anonymous

Businesspeople spend 45% of total communication time on listening.  Therefore, if not done effectively, poor listening can become a communication barrier.  Thill and Bovee (1999) lists five steps to effective listening that involve both the speaker and the listener.

1.      Sensing is actually hearing and recognizing a message.  At this stage it is important to tune out interfering noises and distractions.

2.      Interpreting is decoding and absorbing what you hear.  You use your own knowledge, values and beliefs to give meaning to the words in the message.  However, be sure to pay attention to nonverbal cues and remember that the speaker’s view may be different from your own.  So be sure to recognize what the speaker really means.

3.      Evaluating is forming an opinion about the message.  The speaker’s remarks, facts, and evidence need to be carefully assessed especially if the subject is difficult to understand or ‘emotionally charged.’  Also, try to avoid dismissing ideas by speakers who are unattractive or soft-spoken and accepting ideas of those who are enthusiastic speakers.  

4.      Remembering is being able to recall a message for future reference either by taking notes or by making a mental outline of important points.

5.      Responding is recognizing and acting upon your thoughts about the message.  Feedback is given to the speaker either by nonverbal signals (applause, laughter, or silence) or one on one.  Actively providing feedback will help the speaker refine his or her message. 

Three Types of Listening

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”

- Jiddu Krishnamurti

There are different types of listening for various situations and you adjust your listening according to the speaker’s message.  For example, when listening to a seminar on how to effectively study for a standardized test, you are listening for content or facts.  However, when you are consoling a friend after a death in her family, you listen subjectively and try to understand her feelings.  There are three types of listening that differ in purpose and amount of feedback that occurs.

1.      Content listening involves understanding and retaining basic information flowing from the speaker to you.  It is important to minimize note taking and instead to make a mental outline of the key points.  When listening for content, it is imperative that you understand the message, not that you agree or disagree with it.  

2.      Critical listening entails evaluating the logic, strength, and validity of a message.  Refrain from making judgements about the speaker and information until the end because it is difficult to absorb information and evaluate it at the same time.  Also, you want to assess the speaker’s credibility so pay close attention to the speaker’s nonverbal signals; they are good indicators of uncertainty and honesty.

3.      Active listening involves interpreting the speaker’s feelings, needs, and wants. Avoid judging the other person’s feeling and try not to give advice – just let the individual talk.  Listen emphatically and attempt to understand the speaker’s point of view.

How to be a Better Listener

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.”

- M. Scott Peck

Not only does being a good listener include employing the correct type of listening, it also entails being able to focus on the speaker’s message.  Thill and Bovee (1999) list key points on how to be an effective listener and describe how a good listener reacts to a speaker.